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Girl Talk - The XanaDawn Experience [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Freeform RPGing Amongst Friends

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Girl Talk [May. 28th, 2004|09:48 pm]
Freeform RPGing Amongst Friends
Fandom: Buffy!verse
Characters: Buffy and Harmony
Setting: Buffy's porch, at night, sometime during...5th season AU
Summary: Harmony needs a little Slayer-ly advice on her favourite blonde...

"This is a very stupid idea. Very very stupid. What are you thinking? She's just going to stake you..then you'll be like...icky dust! Ugh! And then you'll be dead. Well, totally dead forever." Harmony prattled on to herself as she walked down the street. She hummed more happily to herself as she noticed the light from the streetlamps making her hair look sunshiney even in the night. She took a deep breath and hugged her very fashionable leather jacket a bit tighter to her body, not from cold of course, just nervousness. It wasn't every night she was asking the Slayer for advice.

Harmony walked up to the Summers' door and rang the doorbell. She tried to peek in the little windows on the door to see if anyone was even home.

"I'll get it, mom!" Buffy called from the living room to Joyce in the kitchen. It was going to be a girl's night: just mom, Dawn, and Buffy. It had been a while since they'd spent good quality family time. She opened the door and - to her complete lack of surprise - there was Harmony. "Harmony. What do you want?"

"Hi, Buffy," Harmony said, giving her a pleading smile that was accented by her pink lip gloss. "I was hoping we could talk, just girl talk with no stakes or biting or anything. You know just...normal?" She made flourishing gestures with one of her hands, trying to illustrate her benign intent. She tilted her head slightly. "Please?"

Buffy pursed her lips together, wondering what the hell Harmony could want NOW. "You're not coming in my house," she said turning to look down the hall. She took a step outside and closed the door behind her. "Girl talk?"

Harmony nodded. "You see, there's this guy, and I really like this guy, I mean a lot. I'm totally in love with him. Only," she frowned and threw her hands down to her sides frustratedly. "Only he doesn't love me, Buffy. And sure, it was a rocky relationship, both times, and he made me cry all the time...But I still love him, you know? I don't know what to do. I mean how did you do it? There has to be some secret trick or something."

Buffy stared at her wide eyed. That's what this is? Harmony had come to her with boy troubles. Buffy chuckled inwardly: vampire troubles. She sighed loudly, "What did Spike do this time?"

"Well I sort of left him last time...I mean he didn't want me so there was no need for Harmony to stick around and look desperate," Harmony said, throwing a dramatic whine into the middle of her little speech. "It's not Spike's fault. I think it's yours. And even though I looked so much better in that sweater, it wasn't enough to make me not see what my little Blondiebear was really interested in. I mean, I'm a woman, after all. A ..dead woman..but I still have feelings you know!" Harmony realised she'd rambled on, uttered an "oops" and waited for Buffy to say something. She did come to the Slayer to get some advice after all, not talk her, decidedly not-cute, ear off. Or maybe it was those earrings that weren't cute?

"My fault?!" Buffy exclaimed incredulously. "Why are you blaming your relationship with Spike on me? Hello! He dated Drusilla for over a century! You should have known better!"

"That's not fair, Buffy!" Harmony put her hands on her hips and gave the other girl a disapproving look. "You know she cheated on him a whole bunch of times. She broke his poor little heart!" Harmony stamped her foot on the ground and rolled her eyes. She started walking away. "Ugh! I knew this was a bad idea. And all I wanted to know was how you got him to fall in love with you so I could do the same thing and he can love me for a change. Instead of stupid Drusilla and the stupid Slayer," she grumbled loudly to herself in frustration.

Buffy's jaw dropped open in disgust. "What? What are you talking about, Harmony? Spike's not.. Okay, ew. With the ew and the gag reflex."

Harmony stopped a few steps from the porch. She rolled her eyes before turning around to look at Buffy again. "Look, I don't like it anymore than you do," she said haughtily. "I mean you're the Slayer for God's sake! How gross is that, no offence, for a vampire?" Harmony shrugged dramatically. "And I had to wear your clothes and everything. It was so embarrassingly two seasons ago," she added, distaste apparent by her expression.

"WHAT? Wear my clothes! What are you talking about, Harmony?" Buffy asked, hands on her hips.

"Oh it was just for some sex game Spike came up with. You know that role playing thing? It's really kinky, actually...well except I had to be you." Harmony sighed and hugged herself, suddenly feeling very insecure again.

"A world of Ew, Harmony." Bufy said, her face screwing up in disgust. "Why would you want Spike anyway? He's EVIL."

"He's...well he was my Blondiebear. He's so...hot! And oh my god his accent, have you heard it? Sooo cute!" Harmony giggled and put a hand to her mouth. She smirked at Buffy. "And I'm evil too, you know. So it makes perfect sense."

"Okay, Harmony? If you don't leave my porch and stop asking me for advice on Spike - have I mentioned ew? - I'm going to stake you on principle," Buffy said walking towards her door.

"Uh! But you ...well you didn't ever actually say you wouldn't stake me. But I did say I wouldn't bite you! Buffy please tell me what you did to make him love you," Harmony pleaded in a very undignified manner. She walked back onto the porch quickly, hoping somehow that if she were on the porch with Buffy she wouldn't be able to go inside without answering her question.

"Harmony! Spike is NOT in love with me! And if he is, all you've got to do is threaten him and beat him up a lot!" Buffy exclaimed, completely disgusted and just wanting to have her girl night with her mom.

"Oh," Harmony said, shocked she hadn't thought of that herself. Of course she wasn't going to say that or the Slayer might think she was dumb or something. "Fine. Be difficult! And here I was being civil with...with the Slayer! Thanks for nothing." Harmony flipped her hair over her shoulder before storming off to find Spike.